for every adult
that can find the courage
to practice self-forgiveness
there will be a child
that may reach adulthood
without the overwhelming burden
of generational trauma.
Why is Self-Forgiveness so hard?
Because it requires self-permission. We need to feel worthy to give ourself the permission to forgive ourselves, otherwise we would just be weak and selfish right?
That’s the Story. And Story is where Reason comes to die; the glaring problem with this Story is that no one else is coming. Where we get our permission is where we get our power. And for some, our Guilt and our Shame is so great we cannot bear it, so we turn to habits, escape, distractions. For others we turn to our gurus, our heroes, to be our Redeemers, or we find a wicked ‘Other’; a Scapegoat to blame for all our woes.
For some, that scapegoate is our inner-child, doomed to suffer the burden of guilt and shame, and never worthy of forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness is not about being worthy by some universal standard; it is about becoming your own worthy Leader, because, no one else is coming. We are all imperfect. And all we can do is commit to the code that says “As soon as I know better, I do better.” We start from where we are with what we have. That is what leaders do. They get on with it and improve as they go, they remain amendable to challenge and correction, but compassionate and forgiving, especially with themselves. Otherwise we twist and wallow forever.
When you can find no one worthy to lead you, you must become worthy to lead yourself.
And you cannot wait to be worthy to forgive yourself. That day never comes; you have to forgive yourself and spend the rest of your life living up to your potential. You do it, and then you show others how to lead themselves – by example.
You can honour the costs and mistakes you made/make; they remain part of us, as lessons, not as sins.
Tomorrow is waiting.
Who will you become?
Who is watching you?
Who are you laying a pathway for, in your self-loathing or your self-love?