If we inspect our hearts closely, we discover our wounds were caused, so seldomly, by people who intended harm, and so often instead, by people who who simply did not have the presence of mind to be self-aware and exercise self-ownership.
Our closest relationships wound us, because so often, they, just like us, fail to break out of their own Story, and fail, to take the time to Understand HOW to live alongside someone we claim to value, how to love, how to practice consent, how to honour the better versions of themselves in moments, or worst still, whole seasons of uncertainty.
Just like us.
“It is no sign of good health, to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
Our social, political and work environments are profoundly unhealthy, our shared norms are profoundly unhealthy. Our models of masculinity and femininity and therefore our models of relationships, are likewise skewed. Our incentives are deeply misaligned and the sickness is ‘in the water’, it is pandemic.
What can we do? In our limited power and reach, in our own struggle for connection and meaning, how can we make a difference?
The answer of course is Consciousness. Consciousness is the tide that raises all boats. It is the light by which the shadows of ignorance are dispelled and the way we employ our consciousness is via Intention.
It is not enough any more to walk blindly through the house of our lives, that we share with others, and not realise the mud we walk through the sacred places, and then wince in shame and rush forward clumsily to place the offerings of our defences on the sacred altars of our own and other people’s psyches, with the prayer on our lips being “I did not mean to.”
If we are not consciously part of a solution, we are invariably unconsciously part of the problem.
We want better for our loved ones. And we want better for ourselves. Be better.
Be conscious. Connect with your intentionality, check your feet for mud. Walk gently through the house of the moment.
There is no downside to being more aware and living from a place of intentionality.